I Fired My Ex Tonight and It Sucked

 I pulled the band aid that's been covering my year-long wound
It hurt so bad that I had to bite by lower lip to suppress my screams
I bit so hard I started tasting a hint of rust
It tasted like a year's worth of sadness
I bit harder and this time, the flavor registered to my tongue well
Enough to know I should stop,
But not enough to make me stop
I just wanted to pull out the band aid and see how's my wound
But I made another cut
And this time, not only I can feel it on my skin
But this one-- I can suck on to its flavor
Its distinct taste wasn't the best I've tried
But now I understood why some people like the taste of it
The more I suck, the more the pang of pain registers to my brain
It's satisfying
And I know I've been here before
So here's to the wounds we cover with band aids
And here's to the wounds no band aid can ever cover
Here's to pulling the covers up
And here's to not covering wounds at all
Pulling the band aid sucked
But at least it will suck no more

I drank coffee and now I can’t sleep damn it

I turned my life around within a month.

On October 1st, I got a new job.

Two days after, I moved out of my parents’ house and moved in to my humble space downtown.

On the last Friday of the month, I joined a government-backed savings program.

Yesterday, I secured an insurance policy.

Today, I’m coming to terms with the many unspeakable things happening in my head.

One of which is realizing that my social circle is getting smaller over the years.

That when people go, they really go and don’t look back.

It’s a hard pill to swallow, but thank God, my mama raised one swallower.

The interesting thing about this month-long living alone situation is that I have no phone. I lost it a month before deciding to move out.

And after two months of not having one, I’m doing fine.

Seriously, I’m happier that I don’t have one.

It actually gets weird when I’m outside, with other people, seeing them slouching and so invested on their screens.

My point is…

I’m thankful for the peace I feel within me. (Mushy, but priceless!)

That I can be okay without gadget to distract me from my own thoughts,

Of my every now and then,

And the ‘thisness of this.’

It’s like I went on a backpacking trip,

But instead of going to an unfamiliar and exciting place,

I’m still in the same city,

Barely seeing friends and family,

Just working day and night,

And nothing relatively exciting is happening.

Still, I’m excited of what’s ahead.

PS: This isn’t a poem. I’m writing in short bits because I’m barely awake, and also, as the title says, I can’t sleep